5 am. It's finally morning, or at least, I've decided that I'll call it that. I am so ready for the night to be over. This has been the most difficult night I've ever had. I may have slept for 3 hours total. Maybe. And the rest of the time I spent lying in bed, my stomach tied in knots, praying and praying and trying to remind myself of God's truths. That He doesn't want me to be anxious. That He wants to give me peace that passes all understanding. But most of all, that His strength is made perfect in weakness. Because I have never felt this weak before, not that I can remember. I never expected it to be like this. I expected to have trouble sleeping, but purely out of excitement, not out of anxiety. I am excited, don't get me wrong. But anxiety continually threatens to override my excitement. I feel like I'm in the middle of a battle. It is very hard for me to write this, to be this vulnerable. I'm not sure I want everyone reading this to know how much I'm struggling. But I know I need your prayers, so I want you to know how to pray for me. I know that I am extremely overtired, and I've never coped well with being overtired. And I know that this will pass. I can't tell you how much it meant to finally get out of bed this morning and to read comments on my last post, to know that you are praying for us. Please keep praying! I will post again later, after we meet Lili. I have been praying that she would be able to sleep a lot better than I did. God is faithful, I know He is, and I know He is with us. To Him be the glory.
4 comments:
Jill, you are being covered in prayer! Thank you for sharing your heart with us, so we know how to be specific in prayer. May God sustain you through all of these emotions, both good and not so good, as you get closer to the time to meet your daughter! May His grace be sufficient for you and his power be made perfect in your weakness. I can't wait to read your next post!
"Come to me , all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
"This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
Thanks for your vulnerability. I will continue on in my prayers for you. Hugs!
I am so sorry you had such a rough night! I have been praying for you all day. You have been heavy on my heart. It sounds very much to me like a battle - and that should not be a surprise since you are submitting so completely to the Lord. I know too that God's will for you is perfect and He will provide, but I can't help wishing it wasn't so hard on you. I wish I had the right words that would bring you comfort and ease. But, I dont, so I will continue to pray. I pray now that not only will your first meeting with Lili go well, but that it will provide your heart and mind the relief it needs to rest.
Sending you big smiles, squeals, giggles, and fast happy claps. I am SOOOOO excited for you! Only 1 1/2 hours to go! I have been counting down all day!
Hey Jill! Been praying for you all day. Came across this verse. Psalm 68:6a "God settles the solitary in a home." God is building your home today, all glory to Him!
Post a Comment